While Valentine’s Day may be a day of hearts and flowers for many, it isn’t for everyone
All relationships are different, but
domestic abuse can happen in any relationship. These include those involving older people; younger people; LGBT+ communities; people with disabilities and people from all communities; ethnicities and backgrounds.
Sandwell Council’s Domestic Abuse Team, working with the Domestic Abuse Strategic Partnership, want to raise awareness of abusive relationships and let victims know there’s help available.
For the 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men who experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, Valentine’s Day can be one of the toughest and most triggering days of the year. Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten a victim and is a criminal offence.
This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour. If you think someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, know that you can help and make a difference.
Start a conversation - don’t expect someone to open up straight away. Be patient, be non-judgemental, be open. Don’t be a bystander - sort out a coffee date or meet up for lunch. Go for a walk with them, it might make it easier for them to open up. Listen without judgement - Leaving an abusive relationship is hard. There’s a large number of barriers that prevent someone from leaving, all that can seem impossible to the individual affected.
Your role is to listen. Your role is to believe them. Councillor Danny Millard, Sandwell Council’s Cabinet Member for Communities said: “Sandwell Council works with a range of partners throughout the year to help those experiencing domestic abuse. If domestic abuse is happening to you, it’s important that that you tell someone – you don’t have to wait for an emergency to get help.” More domestic abuse information is available on Sandwell Council website.
Councillor Kerrie Carmichael, Leader of Sandwell Council, said: "Most of us celebrate Valentine’s Day. However, for some it is just another day of living in fear of abuse. Love and relationships should be based on equality and respect, not violence and abuse. Sandwell Council is here to help you to access help and support - all you need to do is to get in touch." Useful contacts Black Country Women’s Aid can provide support to women and men experiencing domestic abuse.
They provide a full range of services including access to specialist domestic abuse refuge accommodation and access to a range of specialist domestic abuse advice and support. You can contact them 24 hours a day on 0121 552 6448 or via webchat on the Black Country Women's Aid website and via WhatsApp on 07384 466181. Specialist support is available for men and boys who have experienced domestic abuse, rape and sexual abuse. Ask Marc provides confidential practical and emotional support.
This includes one-to-one and telephone support; access to counselling; help to report issues to the police; support at court; and support groups. Contact Ask Marc by phone (0121 289 6402) email (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) or visit askmarc.org.uk for more information. Birmingham LGBT Centre can also provide a range of support services for LGBT victims. Visit the website or call 0121 643 0821 Sandwell Council also provides support to access safe accommodation for victims and their children who may find themselves at risk of homeless due to domestic abuse.
They can be contacted on 0121 368 1166 or visit Homeless or at risk of losing your home | Sandwell Council for more information.