While Valentine’s Day may be a day of hearts and flowers for many, it isn’t for everyone
Every relationship is different, but domestic abuse can affect those from all communities and backgrounds, regardless of age,
sexuality, ethnicity or disabilities. Sandwell Council’s Domestic Abuse Team, working with Black Country Women’s Aid, are raising awareness of abusive relationships, letting victims know that there is help available. One in four women and one in six men experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. For them, Valentine’s Day can be one of the toughest and most triggering days of the year. Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or pattern or acts of threats, humiliation, assault and intimidation, as well as any other form of abuse used to harm, punish or frighten a victim. This is a criminal offence. These controlling behaviours are designed to make a person dependent, isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them from support and regulating their everyday behaviour. If you think someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, know that you can make a difference.
Here is how you can help: Start a conversation – don’t expect someone to open up straight away. Be patient, non-judgmental and open Don’t be a bystander – organise a coffee date or meet up for lunch. Going for a walk with them might make it easier for them to open up Listen without judgement – leaving an abusive relationship is hard. There are many barriers preventing someone from leaving and, to the affected individual, these can seem impossible to overcome. Your role is to listen to them and believe them. Councillor Syeda Khatun MBE, Cabinet Member for Public Health and Communities, said: “Whilst many of us celebrate Valentine’s Day, for some it is just another day of living in fear. Love and relationships should be based on equality and respect, not violence and abuse.
“Sandwell Council works with a range of partners to help you access support. All you need to do is get in touch – you don’t have to wait for an emergency to get help.” Sara Ward, CEO of Black Country Women’s Aid, said: “This is a highly emotional and pressured time for many who hoped their relationship would be filled with love and kindness, not abuse. It is vital that we use Valentine’s Day to remember that no-one should have to live with violence. I want all those women and men living with abuse and violence to know that Black Country Women’s Aid and Ask Marc are here to listen, support and care. Making the call for the first time can be daunting, but I guarantee it will be worthwhile.” Useful contacts Black Country Women’s Aid can provide support to women and men experiencing domestic abuse. They provide a full range of services including access to specialist domestic abuse refuge accommodation and access to a range of specialist domestic abuse advice and support. Ask Marc provides confidential practical and emotional support for men and boys who have experienced domestic abuse, rape and sexual abuse. This includes one-to-one and telephone support, access to counselling, help reporting issues to the police, support at court and support groups.